Victims of Bezness

For most women, there comes a time when they realize that their supposed "love relationship" with a Tunisian has only been one-sided and her partner had predominantly or exclusively "Bezness" motifs.

Sometimes they realize it early and in some cases only after a coeple of years. In recent years there have been, for example, several reports of men who leave their wives only after many years of marriage to marry instead a young Tunisian woman.
In more than one case the man had even already for some years a Tunisian woman and child in his home country and in other cases, the man wanted now, despite denying it previously, "suddenly" have children.

In many cases, the separation, which is almost always desired by the husband, is requested just before or after they gained the residence in Europe, in other words, mostly after 5-8 years.
Now the man can proceed with its original life plan, and, in a traditional manner, marry an "honorable" (not divorced, young, innocent) tunisian woman and start a family with her.

In some cases, although one can't call it "Bezness", but in which, strictly speaking, the result was predictable, the man decides after a marriage of many years (often childless) to change his life according to traditional social norms of his home country and marry a Tunisian woman (which is now easy for him, since he is considered, as a Tunisian with a European resident status, a "desirable husband") and have with her a family with many children.

Perhaps we can compare the behavior in some way with "college/university years" in Western countries, when young people leave home and live a few years in a different place and to prepare themselves for their later careers - and in this time also like to break the social norms of their home society.
After a few years, however, the "seriousness of life" begis and they often return to their hometown and then accept the standards and values of their local community.

The probability of this is, of course, particularly high for people who live in a society whose values are and will stay alien to them, and where they can or want, from whatever reason, not take the step from one to the other environment, or want ("lack of willingness for inclusion or integration ").

Apart from the pure "Bezness" cases, in which the marriage was just a means to an end, here is an essential and additional reason for separation of binational relations.

And even if one is then often inclined to say "it was probably just Bezness", the real reason would have been "the differences between the cultures and societies of the spouses were too big".

The result, however, is for the woman, in both cases the same.


However, we will here speak only of "Bezness" relationships, which "bust" for some reason and the woman wants now to end the relationship:

First a warning: If a woman was trapped by a Bezness man, and finds it out and then wants to terminate the relationship and divorce/seperate, she should be very cautious.

In the past years, there have been several incidents in which women in a "last debate" were raped, physically injured and in one case even killed.

And although these are rare cases, unlikely to happen, one should see clearly that, when the stakes are high, the chance of panic reactions will be high as well.

And for a man, loosing the chance to better his life or that of his family, is high stakes, and his disappointment and anger will be the higher, the closer he came to reach his goal.

To such a debate, a woman should therefore never go alone (take a friend, ideally, a male, with her) and, in particular, never stay alone with the ex-lover in a remote or non-public place (eg. an apartment).

Even if a dangerous situation is not always and automatically imminent, one should be very cautious and prevent any situations that could escalate!

In the case of threats, but also fraud or theft, in Tunisia, immediately inform the local police. They are used to this kind of crimes and will usually show no mercy.
And even if the person should mange to get away this time, he won't, if it happens again - and so, by informing the local police, one can not only protect oneself, but also possible victims in the future!

Even when you have the impression that, in a conversation with the tunisian police, they do not believe you or try to blame you - the police in the tourist areas know such situations from daily experience and will pursue their task to help and protect tourists using their best efforts.

There is absolutely no reason for shame or restrain here!  

And you should also consider one more step - namely, to go public and go to one of the relevant internet forums where you can report this (negative) experience, either in anonymous form (without using names) or by putting an entry into a "Black List of Bezness men of Tunisia".

In forums, you will often hear the assertion that such reports are made by women who only want to "hurt" a man by telling lies about him.
This assertion, however, is usually wrong, according to all actual experiences,

For, on one hand, false accusations in discussions forums will, in almost all cases, be reveiled quite fast (or true accusations confirmed) by other forum members, and secondly, one is well aware that a "mistake" in one particular case does not automatically constitute a wrong doing in another case - but it is certainly a strong hint to a potential successor to be very cautious with this person!


Further Information:

List of web forums with the topic Bezness